foran concepts

05.22.10

2010-05-22T13:40:00.000-07:00

dear crystal palace: how have you survived all the earthquakes for the last 130 years?

05.21.10

2010-05-21T15:36:00.000-07:00

dear 826 valencia, san francisco’s only independent pirate supply store: arrr, now i know where to find that odd extra peg-leg or a parrot plank for my next plunder.

05.15.10

2010-05-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

dear gryffin: your first trip to the groomer was a surprising success! i thought for sure, when i walked in to pick you up the groomer would be bandaged and you would still be scruffy and bedraggled. somehow you rallied and displayed “excellent” behavior. who knew?

05.14.10

2010-05-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

dear mona lisa: is that why you smile?

05.13.10

2010-05-13T10:22:00.000-07:00

dear francisco palóu: if you did indeed “found” san francisco atop a hill overlooking a rainbow, bedecked in an organic tweed poncho and birkenstocks, surrounded by psycadelic flowers and with a youthful naked guy clinging to your waist, you should be assured that your influence has prevailed.

05.12.10

2010-05-12T16:17:00.000-07:00

dear purveyors of dead bugs: i have no need to pay $35 when these suckers die in my ceiling lamp for free.

05.11.10

2010-05-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

dear paintings of good books on shelves: you are so cute, but where would i put you? next to my bookshelves?

05.10.10

2010-05-10T13:14:00.000-07:00

dear men’s dress-up clothes: you are sooooooo boring.

05.09.10

2010-05-09T18:11:00.000-07:00

dear cinta: you offer about a million other high-end salon services, but you and i both know what’s up when it comes to your expert eyebrow threader, ahn.

05.08.10

2010-05-08T17:17:00.000-07:00

dear fellow express muni riders: thank you for waiting in line with me, it’s so much less stressful to know that when that bus chut-chuts along up to us, we will get on in an orderly, respectful and fair manner.

05.07.10

2010-05-07T19:02:00.000-07:00

dear fudge: luckily i am too overwhelmed by the site of you to be tempted…

05.06.10

2010-05-06T13:59:00.000-07:00

dear little red riding hood: i don’t recall the part where you get lost in the forest of marble columns outside emporio armani, but if you continue to head south for about four blocks, you will encounter lots of big bad wolves.

05.05.10

2010-05-05T14:18:00.000-07:00

dear carla: i recall looking for “cording” with you in the fabric store in maine, and you were disappointed with their limited selection. today i found this whole floor of a rainbow of cords in sf, you should visit.

05.04.10

2010-05-04T16:55:00.000-07:00

dear kaiser: i loathe your pharmacy process. i waited 1.5 hours for an otc-dosage of motrin.

05.03.10

2010-05-03T12:49:00.000-07:00

dear yudu: took me eight (24-hour apiece) tries to start to get this right!

05.02.10

2010-05-02T21:49:00.000-07:00

dear at&t park: i have to say, i am more into the red wine and gilroy garlic fries you serve in the ballpark than the actual game.

05.01.10

2010-05-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

dear mayan spiced hot chocolate with salted caramel: i love you too.

04.30.10

2010-04-30T09:14:00.000-07:00

dear asian… pinocchio?: so creepy. there’s always been something vaguely child-molestive about pinocchio to me anyway, but this bark-covered branch nose pushes it beyond that notion.

04.29.10

2010-04-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

dear ducks: i just think you are pretty, that’s all.

04.28.10

2010-04-28T17:07:00.000-07:00

dear zeus: i shot this standing in a downpour, looking at the blazing sky three feet away. is it raining? is it sunny? is it late april or early november? why can’t you decide?

04.27.10

2010-04-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

dear tommy’s: hands down, you have the best margarita in town.

04.26.10

2010-04-26T17:29:00.000-07:00

dear roses: gryffin and i would like thank you for gracing the air of this entire block with your fragrance.

04.25.10

2010-04-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

dear yellow and blue plaid tom’s shoes: i know you will get filthy, but for now i love you.

04.24.10

2010-04-24T21:35:00.000-07:00

dear cliffhouse: love the restaurant, hate the apostrophe.

04.23.10

2010-04-23T15:02:00.000-07:00

dear giant bird houses: are you home to albatrosses?

04.22.10

2010-04-22T17:29:00.000-07:00

dear ledson winery: i can’t believe you were originally built as a residence. you look like the mansion in flowers in the attic.

04.21.10

2010-04-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

dear mom and company: i learned it by watching you – parents who drink wine, have kids who drink wine. and that’s a wonderful thing.

04.20.10

2010-04-20T18:06:00.000-07:00

dear neighborhood revelers: a tea party on the sidewalk, how quaint!

04.19.10

2010-04-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

dear fellow muni rider: sigh… really? on your way to a fur pile in the outer richmond?

04.18.10

2010-04-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

dear gumball machines: you have “now supersized!” stickers on your orbs. is it a selling point? does anyone really need to chew supersized gumballs?

04.17.10

2010-04-17T18:00:00.000-07:00

dear sf graffiti artists: i am trying to imagine your thought process when presented with a nice clean spread of wet cement on california street. what tempted you to use that opportunity to scrape, not your initials or shocking obscenities, but a recycling psa?

04.16.10

2010-04-16T14:27:00.000-07:00

dear neighbors: these bumps i blogged about last fall have sprouted purple flowers! how fun.

04.15.10

2010-04-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

dear mustaches: you have taken over the world of yipsters (which unfortunately, living in sf, i am surrounded by.) oh, you are so ironic and throwback, you adorn tote bags, pencils and walls. you are revered at post-post-mod theme parties. i myself, have attended two (albeit years ago, before you were so on trend.) but this is a fire hazard, and you have spread too far.

04.14.10

2010-04-14T23:11:00.000-07:00

dear diary of anne frank: i really enjoyed your masterpiece theatre rendition. the art direction used light and texture beautifully, and the acting was awesome. go public broadcasting!

04.13.10

2010-04-13T09:08:00.000-07:00

dear bloomingdale’s: are you selling cheez-it couture or did some stoned vandal break in last night and f* with your window display?

04.12.10

2010-04-12T12:02:00.000-07:00

dear compass point gallery: thank you for once again, adorning the hallway to my office with an original artist showcase. despite earning a degree in fine art, i have never been enlightened by such insight as that of these prison inmates.

04.11.10

2010-04-11T13:22:00.000-07:00

dear gryffin: i have been avoiding furnishing my apartment due to your destructive puppyhood, but today i decided it was finally time to move forward. you didn't even wait until the new sideboard was put together before you claimed it as your newest launchpad. great.

04.10.10

2010-04-10T19:16:00.000-07:00

dear presidio of san francisco pet cemetery: I am so glad the people fought to save this place, it’s such a gem. one of my faves: “fang d’iguana, h. 1993, d. 2000. big and scary. mighty lizard. dear friend.”

04.09.10

2010-04-09T18:14:00.000-07:00

dear vesuvio: i like your murals.

04.08.10

2010-04-08T22:24:00.000-07:00

dear gryffin: i see you are ready for your centerfold! you might want to lose the (conspicuously armless) sock monkey if you are out to impress the ladies though.

04.07.10

2010-04-07T17:22:00.000-07:00

dear bank of america atm: i spy a teachable moment for a social marketing campaign on littering.

04.06.10

2010-04-06T22:13:00.000-07:00

dear house plant: i’m sorry.

04.05.10

2010-04-05T13:11:00.000-07:00

dear diesel: i still hate your stupid campaign.

04.04.10

2010-04-04T15:04:00.000-07:00

dear macabre taxidermied mice: um, wow.

04.03.10

2010-04-03T21:27:00.000-07:00

dear world: for two months, i have been mostly stuck indoors, tied to computer or puppy. but i am back. stay tuned!

02.02.10

2010-02-02T13:24:00.000-08:00

dear valentine’s day related capitalism/calories: bring it on.

02.01.10

2010-02-01T22:18:00.000-08:00

dear gryffin: you make it so hard to get my blog updated, when you stare at me like that.

01.31.10

2010-01-31T13:14:00.000-08:00

dear future bug-shaped cakes: i never knew i wanted to bake you, but now i do.

01.30.10

2010-01-30T16:10:00.000-08:00

dear diet coke: i ♥ you too.

01.29.10

2010-01-29T20:24:00.000-08:00

dear sf puppy prep: had lots of fun at the puppy social. 40+ puppies, their owners and 12 bottles of wine in a 20x20 foot room on a stormy san francisco night…

01.28.10

2010-01-28T14:06:00.000-08:00

dear art students: gone, but not missed, are the days where i, too had to carry a gigantic portfolio (bigger than yours) around. it used to act as a sail when the syracuse winds picked up, hurtling me across the icy quad. hang in there, at least we don’t have blizzards here.

01.27.10

2010-01-27T13:13:00.000-08:00

dear diesel: my sentiment exactly.

01.26.10

2010-01-26T18:00:00.000-08:00

dear walk home from the bus stop: i’m just admiring the light – albeit mostly man-made – tonight.

01.25.10

2010-01-25T12:44:00.000-08:00

dear milk girl: where do you go with all that milk?

01.24.10

2010-01-24T14:39:00.000-08:00

dear 76 gas stations: i think you might have been designed in the 1960s, with some kind of space-age, “this is the fuel station of the future” thing in mind?

01.23.10

2010-01-23T17:40:00.000-08:00

dear dockers: i am seeing a lot of this dense machismo (macheese-mo?) in advertising lately. between your can of khaki, (really?) diesel’s “be stupid” and wrangler’s “men: stop thinking” campaigns, i am beginning to wonder if mankind peaked evolution in the 90’s, and is now going to turn back into monkeys?

01.22.10

2010-01-22T17:22:00.000-08:00

dear sock monkey: you didn’t stand a chance.

01.21.10

2010-01-21T17:21:00.000-08:00

dear rain: rain, go away.

01.20.10

2010-01-20T17:48:00.000-08:00

dear la tortilla factory mascot lady: you kinda look like a mix of george washington, britney spears and zorro while reading a crystal ball.

01.19.10

2010-01-19T14:46:00.000-08:00

dear audrey niffenegger: i love the art direction in your latest (looooong awaited) novel.

01.18.10

2010-01-18T14:40:00.000-08:00

dear garden statue catalog: at first i thought this was a page from newsweek about the earthquake in haiti, but no. it's an actual zombie garden sculpture that – one can assume – people actually buy and plant in their garden. wow.

01.17.10

2010-01-17T21:12:00.000-08:00

dear piano teacher’s postermaker: you might want to look into a color management workshop.

01.16.10

2010-01-16T22:06:00.000-08:00

dear faithful readers: my apologies for the month+ hiatus – my time and creative space have been occupied by this small creature. i have been taking daily snapshots, but they all feature him. i am ready to get back to looking out into my world again, beyond the scruffy ears of a terrier puppy. please stand by!

12.07.09

2009-12-07T17:08:00.001-08:00

dear gryffin: until we bring you back to san franciso, this will have to do. you are the cutest puppy ever!!!

12.06.09

2009-12-07T17:07:00.000-08:00

dear sonoma valley: love the persimmon trees this time of year!

12.05.09

2009-12-05T21:54:00.000-08:00

dear holiday cards: i get all into filling you out for like the first six. then, boredom.

12.04.09

2009-12-04T17:16:00.000-08:00

dear office christmas tree: the healthy penis santa completes you.

12.03.09

2009-12-03T13:29:00.000-08:00

dear zog dogs’ hotdog stand: mad props for “the prop 8 dog.” two zog dogs on one bun. the more love the better - the more hot dogs the better.

12.02.09

2009-12-02T17:15:00.000-08:00

dear seacliff: loving the sunsets.

12.01.09

2009-12-01T09:21:00.000-08:00

dear macy’s spca windows (again): are you kidding me?

11.30.09

2009-11-30T18:11:00.000-08:00

dear flood building: once again, you wow me with your cheesy yet detail-oriented and awesome lobby decor.

11.29.09

2009-11-29T17:10:00.000-08:00

dear gg bridge: still not tired of looking at you.

11.28.09

2009-11-28T16:08:00.000-08:00

dear mini xmas trees: which one of you will come home with me today?

11.27.09

2009-11-27T10:06:00.000-08:00

dear rocky: did we really need a pancake breakfast the day after thanksgiving?

11.26.09

2009-11-26T16:04:00.000-08:00

dear pilgrims: our thanksgiving was way more gluttonous than yours.

11.25.09

2009-11-25T20:56:00.000-08:00

dear king tut: you are being redefined in local antique shops.

11.24.09

2009-11-24T13:43:00.000-08:00

dear hoochified mrs. claus pirate wench: frederick’s of hollywood was never intended for day wear.

11.23.09

2009-11-23T13:41:00.000-08:00

dear baby animals: you represent my favorite time of year commute-wise – when macy’s has the sfspca holiday windows!

11.22.09

2009-11-22T13:38:00.000-08:00

dear everybody: this beach is a 5-minute walk from my new apartment.

11.21.09

2009-11-21T15:24:00.000-08:00

dear comcast: six years ago, you installed internet service at my old apartment. as part of this installation, you left a small plastic modem plugged into our wall.

with our recent move, you told me that modem was now obsolete, and that you would bring me a new one. however – you said – i must return the old modem to your headquarters or be charged $5 a month indefinitely. well, can i just give it to the guy who comes to install the new service, i asked. no, said you. you must come in person.

frustrated and without a car or time during business hours to spindle around the maze that is potrero hill (where your “headquarters” are located) i called your customer service representatives seeking a mailing address. i waited on hold (at work) for 40 minutes and then had an argument with someone about the fact that i work during the day and cannot get to potrero hill. in the end, you agreed to mail me a “box” to ship my modem back in. i thought this was the end of this ordeal, but no. two weeks went by (and $2.50 more on my bill) with no box. then i get a ups notice that i “missed” a delivery. well of course i missed, it – as discussed, i have a job and am not home during the day. so couldn’t they just leave it? no. well then, reroute it to my office? no. three more “missed delivery” notices and finally, it must have been my neighbor who signed for the package.

which was an empty, torn and crushed box that i must tape back together and bring to ups to mail back to you.

11.20.09

2009-11-20T19:19:00.000-08:00

dear electric blue sheets: i guess this is what i get when, in effort to not spent $378, i order two sets of “sea mist” pottery barn sheets online on clearance. so much for my idea of an organic-feeling, beachy-neutral calming color palette in my bedroom.

11.19.09

2009-11-19T08:44:00.000-08:00

dear neighbors: i wonder what my new terrier is going to think of your over-manicured grass tufts when i walk him across your lawn.

11.18.09

2009-11-18T23:19:00.000-08:00

dear 2010: i love, love, love my new calendar. so much so that i already hung it up in my studio, just waiting to reveal its clever typographic riddles.

11.17.09

2009-11-17T13:16:00.000-08:00

dear turkey: i do intend to gobble veggies next week, the ones next to you on my plate.

11.16.09

2009-11-16T19:12:00.000-08:00

dear california: i love that you can grow fresh citrus year round, even in november.

11.15.09

2009-11-15T22:34:00.000-08:00

dear paper source: i had a particularly challenging time tracking down your paper color swatchbook this year. ah, but it was worth the wait!

11.14.09

2009-11-14T10:24:00.000-08:00

dear boyfriend: witnessing you discover san francisco brewcraft, a home brewing supply store in our new ’hood, was like watching a kid in a candy store. i suppose beer, wine and mead supplies are, indeed, adult confections.

11.13.09

2009-11-13T22:20:00.000-08:00

dear s’more: after a fright-filled friday the thirteenth that began with a crackhead punching me in the back of the head on the bus (i was fine, just shocked) you are just the ticket. i was told by a college roommate that you could make delicious s’mores in the microwave but, as a mainer and former girl scout, i didn't believe her for years. i was wrong.

11.12.09

2009-11-12T19:13:00.000-08:00

dear bad paint job: i dreaded shutting myself in to our twee sunroom so i could close and paint the pocket door, and then wait for it to dry before opening the door to leave the room. but i couldn’t imagine my joy when i encountered shreds of old latex paint curling off the door, which probably hasn’t been moved in 40 years.

11.10.09

2009-11-10T19:04:00.000-08:00

dear fellow atm users: this is a definite pet peeve of mine– you leaving your receipt in the machine. this particular atm gives you a blinking red option to print, or not print a receipt. you have to actively push this button to get it to print. so why do you walk away? now i have to take it and dispose of it, in order to get my receipt. or i can leave it for the next person, so the saga continues…

11.09.09

2009-11-09T23:43:00.000-08:00

dear bedroom window shades: thank you for being the one thing, thus far, that has been installed with relative ease in our new apartment.

11.08.09

2009-11-08T20:38:00.000-08:00

dear nicolette: the trampoline dodge-ball party was definitely the most hilarious (and exerting) version of a 30th birthday celebration i have experienced. especially since we shared the venue with a 10-year old’s birthday party.

11.07.09

2009-11-07T21:07:00.000-08:00

dear bedroom walls: you’re next!

11.06.09

2009-11-06T18:02:00.000-08:00

dear my new home studio: almost done!

11.05.09

2009-11-05T09:12:00.000-08:00

dear seemingly healthy, agile, strapping, text-messaging young man on the unstable bus: notice the 80+ year old lady standing next to you, gripping the pole? yeah, her. you should offer her your seat, you self-absorbed jackass! i would give her mine, only i already just did so for her equally elderly friend.

11.04.09

2009-11-04T13:02:00.000-08:00

dear tru blood beverage: you looked so swanky in your ads, not to mention on the show. but on the shelf, you look kinda sticky and trashy. and not in the good way that i so revere your tv series for.

11.03.09

2009-11-03T14:00:00.000-08:00

dear burmese lemonade: i love the straw wrapper rosette.

11.02.09

2009-11-02T12:04:00.000-08:00

dear scott’s desk at the office: in case anyone was wondering what season it was…

11.01.09

2009-11-01T09:55:00.000-08:00

dear starbucks: at least you waited until after halloween to launch your christmas drinks, unlike other retailers in the area.

10.31.09

2009-10-31T08:45:00.000-07:00

dear halloween: here in sf, people really dig you.