05.31.09

dear boston: so much of my relationship with you has involved this highway, usually in deadlocked traffic.

05.30.09 (part ii)

dear hannah: i couldn’t let this merry day slip by without noting our fantastic pedicures!

05.30.09

dear kate and george: congrats on your dazzling union!

05.29.09

dear rapid ray’s: that’ll be a cheese, a fry, and a choc. and thanks for correcting the next person in line when he did not know how to order-- reminding me that though i don’t live in saco anymore, i am still local.

05.28.09

dear carla: you have a seriously strange pet.

05.27.09

dear jet blue: maybe it’s just the angle, but your plane looks rather small to be carrying 150 passengers and i across north america in the middle of the night.

05.26.09

dear california supreme court: regarding your decision to uphold prop 8– you can only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man’s freedom. you can only be free if i am free.

05.25.09

dear the wedding of kate and george: only 109 more of these to go…

05.24.09

dear high-end furniture store: who buys these overpriced, creepily-realistic stuffed dogs? they do not appear to be toys for kids.

05.23.09

dear middle of the night: it’s strange how items like a twin mattress with a child’s clothing strewn about it can be on the sidewalk in front of your apartment in the darkest hours, but by sunrise they have disappeared.

05.22.09

dear penguin classics: i have been dying to get my hands on this set of books you published last fall in the uk, with covers designed by coralie bickford-smith. i finally found them in canada, and ordered them two months ago. today they finally arrived! (although pride and predjudice is momentarily missing) still– i am pleased.

05.21.09

dear harrison street post office: i wandered around the block several times searching for an official-looking building, before i realized that this, indeed was the door i would have to enter to pick up my package.

05.20.09

dear new cigarette tax increase: i don’t smoke so i assumed i was not affected by your new tax hike, presumably to encourage more people to quit smoking. little did i know that the fee was actually to pay someone “$11 million dollars a year to clean the streets of discarded butts.” way to focus on the real problem. i will look forward to traipsing through the slollum of exiled smokers on the city sidewalks–inhaling their secondhand smoke as i am forced to do daily–without having to worry about seeing any butts.

05.19.20

dear california: it is still a novelty to me that you can grow your own citrus trees here.

05.18.09

dear train stop: i found your literary quote rather depressing while i waited for the n-outbound.

05.17.09

dear america: as i waited for a passenger in my car to use the bathroom from this hot, dry, 110º asphalt parking lot on the freeway, i wondered, when are we going to reduce our dependency on oil?

05.16.09

dear co-workers: thanks for putting your heads together (along with mine) for three days and not causing any headaches. by the way, we are all seriously addicted to our iPhones.

05.15.09

dear lake tahoe: i had no idea you were so pristine. perhaps i should get out of the city more often.

05.14.09

dear woods: i have retreated into you with my co-workers to reassess our priorities, goals and policies as a team. this could get interesting…

05.13.09

dear sky blue scooter: this is the vespa i want, assuming there is a matching helmet in the trunk.

05.12.09

dear pier 27: today i had the surreal experience of being picked up in a station wagon by sf city supervisor, bevan dufty, and driven to your warehouse to choose a float structure to design for the gay pride parade. the thing is, you are soley responsible for all the floats for all the parades year-long, and we have to transform a chinese new year cityscape into a gay adoption / bevan dufty for mayor float!

05.11.09

dear soma: could i live on unsolid ground? you seem to be the only neighborhood i can afford to buy a 2br condo in in the city. you are quite sunny and picturesque, but will you melt into the bay if we have an earthquake?

05.10.09

dear street art: i love looking at this, but am having a hard time interpreting it, other than as a portrait of your everyday tree hugging, bike riding san franciscan, topless while simultaneously bedecked in a cute victorian facade buildings. but your text really throws me off: “the same wind that uproots trees makes the grasses shine.” unless it’s about pot?

05.09.09

dear womyn: one could assume you were going for a christian theme, but as this is potrero hill in san francisco, i am going to commit to interpreting your home’s decor as having a new-age third wave feminist goddess lesbian womb vibe instead.

05.08.09

dear neighborhood corner store: the amount of reinforcements you have holding up your sign disturbs me.

05.07.09

dear santoshi: my tea time in the sun with fernando was lovely today.

05.06.09

dear celestial revelers: thank you for bedazzling the sidewalk downtown with star glitter.

05.05.09

dear cinco de mayo: because of rain and the fact that you fell on a tuesday, this was the extent of my celebration.

05.04.09

dear cherries: i much prefer a life like a bowl full of strawberries.

05.03.09

dear alameda flea market: i attended hoping to find a set of vintage champagne glasses, or perhaps a spool or two of antique ribbon for my burgeoning wedding invitation business. because of the rain, most of the vendors left by the time i arrived but i was lucky enough to find your bins of creepy dolls.

05.02.09

dear the summer of love: in some corners of the world, you never ended. namely, berkeley.

05.01.09

dear jfk: do you think the day is near when we see shall obama’s graphic image laminated onto the table tops at taquerías?