05.21.10

dear 826 valencia, san francisco’s only independent pirate supply store: arrr, now i know where to find that odd extra peg-leg or a parrot plank for my next plunder.

05.12.10

dear purveyors of dead bugs: i have no need to pay $35 when these suckers die in my ceiling lamp for free.

05.10.10

dear men’s dress-up clothes: you are sooooooo boring.

04.25.10

dear yellow and blue plaid tom’s shoes: i know you will get filthy, but for now i love you.

10.14.09

dear three potato four: i have been in the market for artwork and posters for my new apartment, and was jazzed to find this print from the fryeburg fair! i am pretty sure i was at that fair in 1984, watching my cousins show off their cows in the junior 4-h competition.

10.04.09

dear ikea: this was the most successful visit we’ve had to date, thanks to careful preparations on my part. these involved eight hours of sleep the night before, a square breakfast, continuous hydration and counting to three before reacting to various obnoxious but inevitable scenarios that make me despise the human race. the well-timed snack break before entering the market hall was what sealed the deal.

09.18.09

dear walgreens: how convenient, when i pick up toothpaste, i can buy a kit to determine my baby daddy in the next aisle.

08.12.09

dear anthropologie: we need to talk – that is, what are you doing to me?! you know i have a somewhat destructive jacket addiction. you know i just bought a navy blue snap-up removable-hood hoodie two weeks ago. my coat closet is so overstuffed that the door doesn’t close, my checking account nearly empty and yet… how could i possibly not own this ever-so-versatile hooded, ruffle-collared sweater with an asymmetrical brass zipper, cable knit smocking and great big wooden button jacket?

07.30.09

dear sofia masri: your spectrum of handmade porcelain jewelry is refreshingly original.

07.24.09

dear mad men for banana republic: take a television series that, through it’s writing, glamorizes working in an advertising agency and mix it with two parts retail clothing chain that, through it’s collection, glamorizes working in an advertising agency, shake over ice, pour, add an olive and what you get is a dirty, brilliant advertising campaign.

06.08.09

dear daily grind: returning to work from vacation was alleviated by the use of my new russian doll bag, designed by applecart. that, and the fact that my missing copy of pride and prejudice was awaiting me in a package on my desk.

05.03.09

dear alameda flea market: i attended hoping to find a set of vintage champagne glasses, or perhaps a spool or two of antique ribbon for my burgeoning wedding invitation business. because of the rain, most of the vendors left by the time i arrived but i was lucky enough to find your bins of creepy dolls.

04.20.09

dear capitalism: glad to see that on some city blocks, you are still alive and well.

04.09.09

dear new blue platform sandals: i am devising an outfit for you.

04.06.09

dear etsy: my first handmade purchase–this vintage-inspired carved flower necklace from rachelle d–was a success!

04.02.09

dear general bead: your shop in soma is nothing short of amazing.