11.30.09

dear flood building: once again, you wow me with your cheesy yet detail-oriented and awesome lobby decor.

11.29.09

dear gg bridge: still not tired of looking at you.

11.28.09

dear mini xmas trees: which one of you will come home with me today?

11.27.09

dear rocky: did we really need a pancake breakfast the day after thanksgiving?

11.26.09

dear pilgrims: our thanksgiving was way more gluttonous than yours.

11.25.09

dear king tut: you are being redefined in local antique shops.

11.24.09

dear hoochified mrs. claus pirate wench: frederick’s of hollywood was never intended for day wear.

11.23.09

dear baby animals: you represent my favorite time of year commute-wise – when macy’s has the sfspca holiday windows!

11.22.09

dear everybody: this beach is a 5-minute walk from my new apartment.

11.21.09

dear comcast: six years ago, you installed internet service at my old apartment. as part of this installation, you left a small plastic modem plugged into our wall.

with our recent move, you told me that modem was now obsolete, and that you would bring me a new one. however – you said – i must return the old modem to your headquarters or be charged $5 a month indefinitely. well, can i just give it to the guy who comes to install the new service, i asked. no, said you. you must come in person.

frustrated and without a car or time during business hours to spindle around the maze that is potrero hill (where your “headquarters” are located) i called your customer service representatives seeking a mailing address. i waited on hold (at work) for 40 minutes and then had an argument with someone about the fact that i work during the day and cannot get to potrero hill. in the end, you agreed to mail me a “box” to ship my modem back in. i thought this was the end of this ordeal, but no. two weeks went by (and $2.50 more on my bill) with no box. then i get a ups notice that i “missed” a delivery. well of course i missed, it – as discussed, i have a job and am not home during the day. so couldn’t they just leave it? no. well then, reroute it to my office? no. three more “missed delivery” notices and finally, it must have been my neighbor who signed for the package.

which was an empty, torn and crushed box that i must tape back together and bring to ups to mail back to you.

11.20.09

dear electric blue sheets: i guess this is what i get when, in effort to not spent $378, i order two sets of “sea mist” pottery barn sheets online on clearance. so much for my idea of an organic-feeling, beachy-neutral calming color palette in my bedroom.

11.19.09

dear neighbors: i wonder what my new terrier is going to think of your over-manicured grass tufts when i walk him across your lawn.

11.18.09

dear 2010: i love, love, love my new calendar. so much so that i already hung it up in my studio, just waiting to reveal its clever typographic riddles.

11.17.09

dear turkey: i do intend to gobble veggies next week, the ones next to you on my plate.

11.16.09

dear california: i love that you can grow fresh citrus year round, even in november.

11.15.09

dear paper source: i had a particularly challenging time tracking down your paper color swatchbook this year. ah, but it was worth the wait!

11.14.09

dear boyfriend: witnessing you discover san francisco brewcraft, a home brewing supply store in our new ’hood, was like watching a kid in a candy store. i suppose beer, wine and mead supplies are, indeed, adult confections.

11.13.09

dear s’more: after a fright-filled friday the thirteenth that began with a crackhead punching me in the back of the head on the bus (i was fine, just shocked) you are just the ticket. i was told by a college roommate that you could make delicious s’mores in the microwave but, as a mainer and former girl scout, i didn't believe her for years. i was wrong.

11.12.09

dear bad paint job: i dreaded shutting myself in to our twee sunroom so i could close and paint the pocket door, and then wait for it to dry before opening the door to leave the room. but i couldn’t imagine my joy when i encountered shreds of old latex paint curling off the door, which probably hasn’t been moved in 40 years.

11.10.09

dear fellow atm users: this is a definite pet peeve of mine– you leaving your receipt in the machine. this particular atm gives you a blinking red option to print, or not print a receipt. you have to actively push this button to get it to print. so why do you walk away? now i have to take it and dispose of it, in order to get my receipt. or i can leave it for the next person, so the saga continues…

11.09.09

dear bedroom window shades: thank you for being the one thing, thus far, that has been installed with relative ease in our new apartment.

11.08.09

dear nicolette: the trampoline dodge-ball party was definitely the most hilarious (and exerting) version of a 30th birthday celebration i have experienced. especially since we shared the venue with a 10-year old’s birthday party.

11.07.09

dear bedroom walls: you’re next!

11.06.09

dear my new home studio: almost done!

11.05.09

dear seemingly healthy, agile, strapping, text-messaging young man on the unstable bus: notice the 80+ year old lady standing next to you, gripping the pole? yeah, her. you should offer her your seat, you self-absorbed jackass! i would give her mine, only i already just did so for her equally elderly friend.

11.04.09

dear tru blood beverage: you looked so swanky in your ads, not to mention on the show. but on the shelf, you look kinda sticky and trashy. and not in the good way that i so revere your tv series for.

11.03.09

dear burmese lemonade: i love the straw wrapper rosette.

11.02.09

dear scott’s desk at the office: in case anyone was wondering what season it was…

11.01.09

dear starbucks: at least you waited until after halloween to launch your christmas drinks, unlike other retailers in the area.