04.30.10

dear asian… pinocchio?: so creepy. there’s always been something vaguely child-molestive about pinocchio to me anyway, but this bark-covered branch nose pushes it beyond that notion.

04.29.10

dear ducks: i just think you are pretty, that’s all.

04.28.10

dear zeus: i shot this standing in a downpour, looking at the blazing sky three feet away. is it raining? is it sunny? is it late april or early november? why can’t you decide?

04.27.10

dear tommy’s: hands down, you have the best margarita in town.

04.26.10

dear roses: gryffin and i would like thank you for gracing the air of this entire block with your fragrance.

04.25.10

dear yellow and blue plaid tom’s shoes: i know you will get filthy, but for now i love you.

04.24.10

dear cliffhouse: love the restaurant, hate the apostrophe.

04.23.10

dear giant bird houses: are you home to albatrosses?

04.22.10

dear ledson winery: i can’t believe you were originally built as a residence. you look like the mansion in flowers in the attic.

04.21.10

dear mom and company: i learned it by watching you – parents who drink wine, have kids who drink wine. and that’s a wonderful thing.

04.20.10

dear neighborhood revelers: a tea party on the sidewalk, how quaint!

04.19.10

dear fellow muni rider: sigh… really? on your way to a fur pile in the outer richmond?

04.18.10

dear gumball machines: you have “now supersized!” stickers on your orbs. is it a selling point? does anyone really need to chew supersized gumballs?

04.17.10

dear sf graffiti artists: i am trying to imagine your thought process when presented with a nice clean spread of wet cement on california street. what tempted you to use that opportunity to scrape, not your initials or shocking obscenities, but a recycling psa?

04.16.10

dear neighbors: these bumps i blogged about last fall have sprouted purple flowers! how fun.

04.15.10

dear mustaches: you have taken over the world of yipsters (which unfortunately, living in sf, i am surrounded by.) oh, you are so ironic and throwback, you adorn tote bags, pencils and walls. you are revered at post-post-mod theme parties. i myself, have attended two (albeit years ago, before you were so on trend.) but this is a fire hazard, and you have spread too far.

04.14.10

dear diary of anne frank: i really enjoyed your masterpiece theatre rendition. the art direction used light and texture beautifully, and the acting was awesome. go public broadcasting!

04.13.10

dear bloomingdale’s: are you selling cheez-it couture or did some stoned vandal break in last night and f* with your window display?

04.12.10

dear compass point gallery: thank you for once again, adorning the hallway to my office with an original artist showcase. despite earning a degree in fine art, i have never been enlightened by such insight as that of these prison inmates.

04.11.10

dear gryffin: i have been avoiding furnishing my apartment due to your destructive puppyhood, but today i decided it was finally time to move forward. you didn't even wait until the new sideboard was put together before you claimed it as your newest launchpad. great.

04.10.10

dear presidio of san francisco pet cemetery: I am so glad the people fought to save this place, it’s such a gem. one of my faves: “fang d’iguana, h. 1993, d. 2000. big and scary. mighty lizard. dear friend.”

04.09.10

dear vesuvio: i like your murals.

04.08.10

dear gryffin: i see you are ready for your centerfold! you might want to lose the (conspicuously armless) sock monkey if you are out to impress the ladies though.

04.07.10

dear bank of america atm: i spy a teachable moment for a social marketing campaign on littering.

04.06.10

dear house plant: i’m sorry.

04.05.10

dear diesel: i still hate your stupid campaign.

04.04.10

dear macabre taxidermied mice: um, wow.

04.03.10

dear world: for two months, i have been mostly stuck indoors, tied to computer or puppy. but i am back. stay tuned!