09.20.09

dear napa: with the crush in full swing and temperature in the triple digits, it’s a perfect day for a flight of “warm weather whites.”

09.19.09

dear zarzuela: i love your food, but the problem i have with tapas is we always order way too many.

09.18.09

dear walgreens: how convenient, when i pick up toothpaste, i can buy a kit to determine my baby daddy in the next aisle.

09.17.09

dear soma architecture: i think you get underlooked, being south of market.

09.16.09

dear contemporary jewish museum: ok, i am intrigued.

09.15.09

dear billboard placements: on the left for chase bank, “let’s do better with banking, california.”

…on the right, “chukchansi gold casino. big. close.”

09.14.09

dear keyboard: after i spilled my soy latte on you, i pulled the four affected keys to clean them, only to discover how offensively filthy you were. so now i am in the process of pulling off all the keys and blasting your underbelly with condensed air.

09.13.09

dear wire fox terrier: i know, i know, i want you too!!!

09.12.09

dear rex cafe: though i don’t drink them myself (this is rocky’s) i am sure you must have the best bloody marys in town.

09.11.09

dear yo-cup: i love the wide selection of fresh, organic (whatever that means) fruit you have for your fro-yo.

09.10.09

dear boys elementary school: you make your kids run laps on nob hill every morning. i hated gym class at that age, but i never had it that bad.

09.09.09

dear sf planning council: i simply cannot believe what i am seeing. you are not already putting up the holiday snowflakes along market street?!?!?!

09.08.09

dear real food grocery store: do you have any soy milk?

09.07.09

dear 4-h club: i don’t really know what four h’s you stand for, but i find it fascinating that among your members are this gal hayley and her rooster, sniddles. (and i thought my tween years were awkward.)

09.06.09

dear goats: in keeping with the batman theme, i love your t-shirts and am surprised you don't eat them – especially since i later saw you snacking on an umbrella.

09.05.09

dear crazy bat man: i thought your hand made bat houses shop was quite charming until i noticed you, in your rocking chair, glaring at us from the corner.

09.04.09

dear diesel: not that it’s remotely obvious from this photo, but does placing jock straps in your window display draw a crowd? (in this town, probably.)

09.03.09

dear stockton tunnel: i decided to mix things up on my walk home today and walk through you, instead of over you. it was quite the adventure, complete with used syringes and a urine-scented breeze.

09.02.09

dear pretentious neighbors: do you really think your french “no parking in our drive” sign (or whatever it says, as i don’t speak the language of my ancestors, like 99.9% of the population here) is necessary, or are you just showing off?

09.01.09

dear nob hill gazette: badinage and bacchanalia? seriously? i do not think your magazine represents our neighborhood’s demographics. seriously.

08.31.09

dear macys: wow, you seriously ripped off this campaign that i designed for hiv prevention. down to the typeface, color palette and plus sign. way to profit from the disadvantages of a nonprofit who cannot afford to trademark a design, you losers!

08.30.09

dear starbucks: i may be the only one, but i appreciate that you printed your made-to-look-like-burlap bus shelter ads too big for the frame, so they wrinkle like fabric. it’s a nice touch.

08.29.09

dear jay mercado: i happened upon your exhibit of donut paintings today. thanks for the sweet treats and a moment spent with art that didn’t take itself too seriously. although i can tell you are serious about donuts.

08.28.09

dear cheese: i have given up on you, at least for a little while. as if they knew, these cows taunted me as they blissfully floated above an in-store display of aged gouda.

08.27.09

dear summer weather: wow, you really worked it out and made a glorious appearance today.

08.26.09

dear saké: such pretty packaging, but i cannot stomach you.

08.25.09

dear teddy kennedy: apparently the san francisco chronicle thinks more highly of a banana republic ad than your passing. i promise you will be missed in more meaningful ways than this.

08.24.09

dear boss: what is it with you and diet coke?

08.23.09

dear film noir oatmeal: you were with me when i finally broke down and bought a photo effects app – you know, the kind of automated bells and whistles thing that graphic design professionals never would to admit to using. it’s pretty fun, but i think i prefer the “polaroid factor” of the unenhanced iphone snapshot – limiting myself to the unpredictability of a low quality, fixed lens phone camera.

08.22.09

dear san francisco: i guess i have been on a flower kick lately, but there are just so many of them spilling out of buildings all over the place.

08.21.09

dear people from afar: just in case you don’t believe me when i tell you the sidewalks in san francisco are infused with glitter.

08.20.09

dear scruffy little westie: i keep seeing you trotting around the neighborhood i work in. i love how your ears flop over at the very tips!

08.19.09

dear buddha: do you mean to imply there is only “one way” to achieve nirvana?

08.18.09

dear home search: another 900sq/ft loft, another 459,000.00 dollars.

08.17.09

dear boyfriend: i hope you like your birthday gift!

08.16.09

dear my friend scott: i love how you have an effigy of your pseudonym, lobster jesus, tacked to your apartment door. your neighbors must think you are effing crazy.

08.15.09

dear grace cathedral: you are famous for your bronze frieze front entryway– a replica of the gates of paradise– but i rather prefer the shire-like wooden doors around the back.

08.13.09

dear fog: no matter how sunny the afternoon is meant to be, you dominate morning.

08.12.09

dear anthropologie: we need to talk – that is, what are you doing to me?! you know i have a somewhat destructive jacket addiction. you know i just bought a navy blue snap-up removable-hood hoodie two weeks ago. my coat closet is so overstuffed that the door doesn’t close, my checking account nearly empty and yet… how could i possibly not own this ever-so-versatile hooded, ruffle-collared sweater with an asymmetrical brass zipper, cable knit smocking and great big wooden button jacket?

08.11.09

dear cole hardware: i always admire your shop windows, but i love your latest display on polk street – inspired by masterpiece paintings. the creation of adam á la rubber gloves is my fave.

08.10.09

dear secret lives of seahorses: you made my walk through the subway station a rather enlightening experience. i had no idea seahorses were so charismatic.

08.09.09

dear flowers that look like tropical insects: i marvel at how you seem so exotic and yet just grow in random places all over the city, at all times of the year.

08.08.09

dear saturday in the park: today was the perfect people/dog watching opportunity.

08.07.09

dear neighboring wine bar: i may have have resisted today, but i’ll definitely be tasting your friday wine and cupcake flight before i die.

08.06.09

dear cro-magnon graffiti: thank you for bringing everything full-circle.

08.05.09

dear wednesday concerts in the park: this is one of the best things about summer downtown – even if you have to work, you can hear some free live music and sprawl on the grass during your lunch hour.

08.04.09

dear sf traffic sign wording decision makers: i’m sure this was the result of a several years’ long process of writing-by-committee, but you make it sound like vehicles have a mind of their own, they are going to “run” away from the hills, cable cars and fog.

08.03.09

dear merry manicures: thanks for the orange nails! i felt like being a little bit outrageous.

08.02.09

dear alameda flea market: was i dreaming when i stumbled upon this jumble of vintage metal letters?

08.01.09

dear once: how have i not watched this film before tonight?