06.23.09

dear anal retentive landlord: a few years ago, i decided you were redonk when you addended our lease–with a clipboard–requiring us to use it when signing credit card receipts for food delivery (so as not to scratch the woodwork in the hall.) but your latest stunt takes the cake. i assumed the white powder you sprinkled on the sidewalk around the exterior of our building was indicative of the seasonal ant invasion–but no, you said–it’s ajax. to “prevent animals from sniffing the building and urinating on it.”